I went into the weekend in a fog, filled with regret for not spending more time with my Grandfather in his last year, cried through the Eulogy, and came out the other side grateful for the life of a man who loved the Lord and loved his family...and loved me.
The funeral and the gathering at his old farm afterward were truly cathartic, and I know he would have been pleased that as a result of his death the entire family that he loved so much was together, enjoying the homeplace one last time.
Thank you, Stephen and Julia Adams, and Justin, for opening your home to us.
72. I can also remember how much Big Daddy loved looking out for that gobbler in the woods and then begging some body to come shoot it. But nobody wanted to take it away from him.
Here's a few great things I either learned this weekend and or already knew and want to remember about Big Daddy:
1. He was a milkman. I never knew that, and I think it's really cool. I wish we still had milkmen.
2. At some point in his life he spent time underneath cars with a blowtorch, cutting off exhaust pipes. Equally cool.
3. Big Daddy never made much money, but always had plenty. I make plenty and never have any!
4. He saw my Grandmother (Weezie) and loved her at first sight, and then... Weezie rejected him. I think that's cool because my wife rejected me....and I loved her at first sight. Lucky for me and my kids, Big Daddy and I both persevered.
5. He had a hereford bull we called "Curly Face."
6. He was a man of integrity.
7. He loved his family more than anything else.
8. In his last days, he only wanted Weezie to sit in front of him so he could look at her face.
9. Big Daddy and Weezie developed a love for bobtailed cats when I was a kid, but had the WORST luck with them. Or should I say, the cats had the worst luck with Big Daddy and Weezie? I won't go into detail, but car engines and bushhogs are not good places to take naps.
10. When Big Daddy stayed at my house as a kid he was once afraid that our dog (Sugar, a mean looking boxer, who was actually as sweet as her name) was not going to let him get back up the driveway to the house. She liked to jump back and forth in front of people and growl. It sounds menacing, but she always thought it was a game. Big Daddy didn't know. Whoops.
11. Big Daddy only scolded me one time, when I drank so many Cokes and Coke floats that I couldn't eat the big fabulous dinner Weezie had made.
12. We shared a love of watching football.
13. The way Big Daddy would always say, "Hey Bowey," when he greeted me.
14. He had an awesome red tractor. Nobody has a red tractor anymore.
15. His children loved him.
16. Weezie loved Big Daddy indescribably and you could tell at the visitation service Friday night.
17. He was married to the same woman 63 years and they loved each other the whole time.
18. He and Weezie had a Buick Roadmaster that always smelled new. Talk about a big car. Wow.
19. Green shag carpet.
20. Contrasting green recliners and couch.
21. Coveralls.
22. Walking cane.
23. Feeding the cows.
24. The man couldn't chew gum without smacking it really loud.
25. The blue Datsun pickup.
26. The way he would laugh when I would try to grab his chest hair as a small child.
27. Cribbage.
28. Electric razor and Afta (byyyy Mennen!)
29. The vinyl floor in the kitchen.
30. Orange slices. I think Weezie gets the credit for those.
31. $50 books from the bank.
32. Did I mention the tractor?
33. Uncle Buddy.
34. Squirrel hunting.
35. The way he was ALWAYS proud of me, even in the times that there wasn't much to be proud of.
36. Wife-beater undershirts.
37. He would have done anything in the world for me.
38. Mutual affection for bourbon.
UPDATE: Adam added these:
39. He loved to refer to the proximity of places as "yonder"...i always wondered where yonder was...and he would always laugh at my making fun of him....
40. Anytime you were close to a destination and asked how far we were, he would say "just two hoops and hollow (hollar as he could pronounce)
41. The most scared i was as a child was hearing him and my mom discuss the book of revelation...
42. The way he always rubbed to bridge of his nose feeling for nose hairs...he was always highly aware of his appearance and would have weezie pull the hairs off the bridge of his nose to look his best. (comment from Jake: This explains where I get all the nose hairs from)
43. His hardy bell laugh when one of his children or grandchildren make a good joke...he loved little lem jokes the best i think and always appreciated my sarcasm
44. His complete and utter obsession with weezie...if a woman ever consumed a man's heart and mind as much, i cannot imagine it...may not have always been the nicest to her in every situation, but he certainly love her more than anything in this world
45. The way he referred to every woman he met as "little lady" and never ever had trouble telling them how pretty they are
46. The man loved an openfaced sandwich with gravy all over it...and boiled okra...
47. Boiled peanuts...jumbo ones...he made the best....
48. Sausage...always had sauasage cooked and stored in the freezer for a quickie breakfast if needed...
49. Fried catfish...loved him some fried catfish...
40. Anytime you were close to a destination and asked how far we were, he would say "just two hoops and hollow (hollar as he could pronounce)
41. The most scared i was as a child was hearing him and my mom discuss the book of revelation...
42. The way he always rubbed to bridge of his nose feeling for nose hairs...he was always highly aware of his appearance and would have weezie pull the hairs off the bridge of his nose to look his best. (comment from Jake: This explains where I get all the nose hairs from)
43. His hardy bell laugh when one of his children or grandchildren make a good joke...he loved little lem jokes the best i think and always appreciated my sarcasm
44. His complete and utter obsession with weezie...if a woman ever consumed a man's heart and mind as much, i cannot imagine it...may not have always been the nicest to her in every situation, but he certainly love her more than anything in this world
45. The way he referred to every woman he met as "little lady" and never ever had trouble telling them how pretty they are
46. The man loved an openfaced sandwich with gravy all over it...and boiled okra...
47. Boiled peanuts...jumbo ones...he made the best....
48. Sausage...always had sauasage cooked and stored in the freezer for a quickie breakfast if needed...
49. Fried catfish...loved him some fried catfish...
Thanks, Adam. These are just a few things. I hope other members of the family will add to this list by making comments in the comments section. I know I'm leaving out some good Big Daddy memories. Enjoy the pictures.
SECOND UPDATE: More from Adam. These are good ones. I especially remember showers at night. Keep them coming....
50. Rook...he loved to play and especially when he "shot the moon"...always made him laugh and he would sarcastically apologize for winning
51. the man soaked and drained rice unitl all the water was clear i think...then he would cook it...
52. the unpaved driveway...and then finally the paved driveway
53. the morning trip into summit to get the mail
54. he always ended a prayer with "we will always be careful to give you all the praise and glory"....the word "careful" always stuck out in my mind...you knew he meant it
55. the backdoor key always was stored in the top drawer next to the door...along with some binoculars...
56. pulling the car or truck over in the pasture behind the house where he had a ramp set up over a little drop-off which made it easy to change the oil and whatnot...because you know he was always maintaining his vehicles...the car that weezie drove was always spotless...but the little datsun never seemed like it was...it always ran like a dream though and the inside was always organized....
57. "price is right" and "wheel of fortune" and "nightly news" (until fox came along..then it was all fox)
58. the old tv that had an antenna turner setting on top of it....
59. the shed
60. the oil well
61. straw hats for the tractor/dress hats for the trips into town...
62. the purple shampoo that helped keep his hair a shiny white
63. driving the tractor over those ridges in the back 40 with all us kids in the back...just to scare us a little
64. his black rockports setting next to recliner that jake mentioned...
65. showers at night...not in the morning
66. key-rack next to the coming in from the garage
67. place on the shelf in the living room where he put all his change, watch, ring and stuff before going to bed...
68. winding the clock on the mantle
69. doing the laundry...seems like he was the one always doing the laundry...
70. putting feed out for the deer and turkey so he could watch them walk up
51. the man soaked and drained rice unitl all the water was clear i think...then he would cook it...
52. the unpaved driveway...and then finally the paved driveway
53. the morning trip into summit to get the mail
54. he always ended a prayer with "we will always be careful to give you all the praise and glory"....the word "careful" always stuck out in my mind...you knew he meant it
55. the backdoor key always was stored in the top drawer next to the door...along with some binoculars...
56. pulling the car or truck over in the pasture behind the house where he had a ramp set up over a little drop-off which made it easy to change the oil and whatnot...because you know he was always maintaining his vehicles...the car that weezie drove was always spotless...but the little datsun never seemed like it was...it always ran like a dream though and the inside was always organized....
57. "price is right" and "wheel of fortune" and "nightly news" (until fox came along..then it was all fox)
58. the old tv that had an antenna turner setting on top of it....
59. the shed
60. the oil well
61. straw hats for the tractor/dress hats for the trips into town...
62. the purple shampoo that helped keep his hair a shiny white
63. driving the tractor over those ridges in the back 40 with all us kids in the back...just to scare us a little
64. his black rockports setting next to recliner that jake mentioned...
65. showers at night...not in the morning
66. key-rack next to the coming in from the garage
67. place on the shelf in the living room where he put all his change, watch, ring and stuff before going to bed...
68. winding the clock on the mantle
69. doing the laundry...seems like he was the one always doing the laundry...
70. putting feed out for the deer and turkey so he could watch them walk up
THIRD UPDATE: Libby made these additions to the list of things we remember about Big Daddy:
71. I can remember being referred to as "chillins" and brushing my teeth with baking soda, yuk.
72. I can also remember how much Big Daddy loved looking out for that gobbler in the woods and then begging some body to come shoot it. But nobody wanted to take it away from him.
FOURTH UPDATE: Craig Slay, a colleague of Lem's, adds this story:
....the first time Lem took me to Big Daddy and Weezie’s place at Summit, I offered him $3,500 cash on the spot for the blue Datsun. He turned me down cold. He knew what he had.
You spoke truthfully regarding the affinity for bourbon. It is obviously shared by at least one of his children. Being a certified, in utero, Southern Baptist, I was able to drive us home from our Summit visit as a matter of precaution.
