Ingredients you'll need: One gallon of 1% milk (or whole milk if you prefer), one sippy cup, a car or diaper bag, kid.
Cooking instructions:
1. Stay in bed a little longer than you should on a morning that you need to get your kid somewhere, preferably a school morning.
2. Dress your kid really fast in something. Anything will do. Slap a pop tart in his or her hand, grab sippy cup and kid and rush to car, plop the kid in the carseat, preferably in a car the child only rides in once or twice a week, and hand kid sippy cup full of milk.
3. Upon arrival at your destination, require kid, who barely touched pop tart and dribbled milk all over self and car seat, to exit vehicle and leave sippy cup full of milk in vehicle, preferably on the floorboard or under the seat. Take kid inside.
4. Forget sippy cup was ever in vehicle.
5. Upon noticing a malodorous air in vehicle (usually in 5 to 7 days), remove cup from car and take inside house. Be careful NOT to open cup.
6. Get a serving dish, such as one you would normally use to serve cheese on, and place next to sippy cup.
7. Hold your breath. Being careful not to inhale, open sippy cup, turn cup upside down, OVER THE PLATE, and shake cup up and down a few times until cheese flops onto plate.
8. Serve with wheat thins or other salty cracker. Also goes well with Pick a Pepper sauce or Hot Pepper Jelly.
Enjoy.
