On the Hood

I think I've been spending too much time washing my car.

On the Way to Church

With the ducklings...

That's My Girl

Audrey loves the neighborhood pool. We hit it this morning while the wife went to "spin" class. 

Gracie rode her new bike and Addie took the tricycle. The pool is literally a quarter mile from our driveway, but it's always a process getting over there with this crew. Gracie's bike fell over on the way. To her credit, she jumped right back on and didn't shed a tear. Addie always brings up the rear, and slowly. When we finally got over there, Gracie and Addie jumped right in. I eased toward the water, and just as I was about to get in, Addie says, "I'm stinky." And of course, I didn't bring an extra swim diaper. So I dragged Gracie out of the pool and walked them both back to the house to change the 2-year-old's big-time stink. Then we go Back to the pool. 

But it was fun. Gracie met another 4-year-old girl from the neighborhood, using her, "will you be my friend?" method. Worked like a charm. 

Petsmart

See the hamster?

Yippeeee!

Audrey is thrilled to have Gracie back after a week at Granny's.

Pulling for the Rebs this Weekend

I hope the Rebs can win their Regional this weekend. Here's a picture of Addie with Jordan Henry. Henry leads the SEC with 34 stolen bases. He's batting .347 and has 50 walks. And he's also a really nice guy. Addie sure thought so. 

Spike and the Colonel

Sharing a quiet moment together this morning.

How I Spent My Lunch

I added a new blog to to links section. On the Front Porch. This lady and I have the same sense of humor. I think. Anyway, her blog reminded me of this one. Thought it would make a good fit. My nine followers might like it. I'm hoping to add a 10th follower sometime this week. 

How to Make a Friend

One of the bigger annoyances of moving is leaving friends behind. Relationships are like good investments. They take years to build and the longer you hold onto them the more valuable they become. As it takes years of small contributions to build up a big 401K, so it takes years of acts of kindness, patient listening, and shared good times to build lasting friendships. 

So moving is much like starting a new retirement plan, from scratch. And much like a retirement plan, with each beginning contribution, it's hard to predict what will become of your investment. You just have to wait, patiently, continue to invest, and and hope for a high rate of return. The desire to connect with people can create as much anxiety or more, that worrying about the performance of your investment account. 

As humans we want instant acceptance. Each time we attend church, or a new social function, there is this underlying anxiety as to what will be the return on this investment be? Will the ten minutes spent talking to the guy next to the coffee pot be the beginning of a friendship?

This is our third move in 10 years of marriage, so the wife and I know how this works. Gracie, the 4-year-old, however, has never moved. And the other day, she told us her perspective on how this all works. 

As we were coming home from church on Sunday, she asked her mom, from the backseat of the minivan, "Did you make any new friends today?"

AB and I laughed. "No sweetie," she said, "I didn't make any new friends today. You can't just make new friends in one day."

"Sure you can, Mommy," Gracie said. "You just walk up to somebody you like, and ask them to be your friend." 

The sweetness of her naive statement was both heartbreaking and funny. I could just picture Gracie walking up to another cute little boy or girl in her sunday school class and asking him or her to be her friend. The heartbreaking part is the fear that the little boy or girl might ignore her or simply say no. The funny part is, knowing Gracie, most of them would probably say, "Ok. Let's play!"

Her mother and I explained to her that it takes time to build friendships. You have to be nice to people you meet and try to get to know them, or in Gracie's case, play with them. It usually takes more than one meeting. As we explained it to her I couldn't help but relate what we were telling her to our own situation, reminding myself that friendships take time and don't happen overnight. 

Wouldn't it be more simple if we could just walk up to people and ask them to be our friend?

I wonder what would happen if I walked up to a few people this week and said,"Hey. I'm Jake. Will you be my friend?" 

My guess is the reaction would be, "Suuuuure buddy. I'll be your friend. Ooops. Is that my cell phone ringing? I've gotta take this." Followed by months of wondering why everytime I see that person in the hallway he turns and walks the other way. 

Think I'll just stick to the patient method.

Peeeuuuew!

Man my car stinks! I'm not sure what happened, but there's nothing worse than a stinky car. I checked under the seats for cottage-cheese sippy cups and found none. The car is pretty much clean save for a little umbrella stroller that was put in there last Friday when I picked the family up at the neighborhood playground to get them out of the rain. Best I can figure, the stroller mildewed in there over the weekend. Staaanky. Anybody in the market for a Civic? 

I Want My NBA

Watched my first full NBA playoff game of the year tonight, and as you
can see from the score, it was everything I could have hoped for and
more. LeBron really is the King. I have regained the love I had for
the NBA back in the Michael Jordan days. Too bad it looks like the
Magic is going to win.

Bowling!

Took the wife and Audrey bowling tonight. Fannin Lanes was first
class. Clean. Beer. Good snack bar. Automatic scoring. And plenty of
space. We had a good time.

A Night Without ESPN

Granny broke out AB's old dresses. Let the good times roll.

Turns out Gracie would like to marry one day. Much to my dismay.
Luckily, she only wants to marry me. I said yes.

Dress Up

Sooo much more fun than the NBA playoffs.

Wedding Tomorrow

Honeymoon's at Newks. The bride picked the place.

Kill Me Now

Playing Wedding

Granny may not have ESPN, but at least we can play wedding.

Last Picture of the Night

I promise. Maybe.

Same Driveway, One Car Over

Addie's friend John Burton takes his afternoon nap. What did we do to
these kids!

1.5 Hours Later...

Don't worry. I've been outside with her the whole time. Nice night for
an outside nap actually.

We're Walking, We're Walking

Sabbath Rest

Addie loved Night at the Museum 2. She was a good movie watcher, but
despite her attentiveness she still managed to soak the wife's iPhone
with Sprite.

Tea Party

It's been a relaxing morning at Granny's house up on the hill. After
my 10-mile run with my running buddies I took a dip in the pool with
the kids, had a hot shower and now we're having tea on the patio.

Friday Funny

This new Nike ad is HILARIOUS! To fully appreciate it you need to understand that LeBron's pregame ritual is to chalk his hands in front of the crowd. He always makes a big show of it. I love puppets. I wish the  muppet show would come back.

Spike Loves Bathtime

First Bike!

CRASH! (Almost)

I was very nearly on the losing end of a collision with an SUV this morning. I'm still not sure what happened. I had just finished a nice eight-mile run on the Ridgeland Multi-use Trail and was headed back to the house feeling all good, listening to my new favorite song, Poker Face by Lady Gaga (don't laugh), and was turning left at the light. It was red and it turned green. I was in the turn lane. The next thing I know some Explorer comes careening by laying on the horn, missing me only because he took a big swerve through the intersection. The part where I'm a little fuzzy is whether the light was green or whether I had the arrow. I was in a zone. I guess running and Lady Gaga do that to me. 

So that's what happened to me this morning. Don't forget to drop a quarter on your way out. 

Yo, Yo, Yo

Wasssup dog...

Mississippi, Texas to Secede

Obama can raise taxes, legalize gay marriage and late-term abortion, surrender to the Muslim world, prosecute W, Knight Bill Clinton, set the terrorists free, make an enemy of Israel, take away our guns, buzz Manhattan with Air Force One, but he absolutely one hundred percent crossed the freakin line when he took away our right to drive a four-wheel drive pickup!

Looks like if Obama has his way we'll all be driving golf carts in a few years. Check out this ap story if you wonder what I'm talking about. 

I've had it! Who's with me? Plumbers of America unite! Carpentars rise up! The South will rise again!

UPDATE: Saw where Jake University was a result for Mississippi Secession 2009 on google. Okay, just for the record, the above blog post was meant to be seen as tongue-in-cheek, i.e.; sarcasm. While I am opposed to many Obama policies, I am not actually a proponent of secession. I was just thinking when I saw the news about the new fuel standards how funny it was that of all the issues to raise the ire of conservative voters, the possibility of not being able to drive a V-8 with mudders may be the one that actually produces a visible reaction. Please don't make this the secession blog. 

Wolverine - New Poll Question

Go see it. It's awesome. I am pretty sure the wife has titanium claws hiding inside her hands, too. Thankfully, she hasn't used them on me. 

We went to the 8:50 showing last night and I stayed awake through the whole thing, which says alot. Ask the spouse. 

________________________________________________

Jake University's new poll question springs from my trip to the movies last night. It involves people who talk during movies. I have no use for them, but never know how to react. Last night, a couple young hoodlums were sitting behind us carrying on a full-fledged conversation. I thought about telling them to be quiet, but they were alot bigger than me. I thought about telling the movie usher, but they were alot bigger than him, too, and I knew they would know it was me who told him. Again, they were alot bigger than me. 

I considered asking the spouse to move down a few rows with me, but was worried it would be too obvious. Also didn't want to raise the ire of the spouse. She's not afraid of people bigger than me when she's with me. We're still working on this.

So, what did I do? Same thing you would. I sat there and hoped they'd shut up. They eventually did. 

But it gets me to thinking, if I ruled the world, what would be the punishment for people who are disruptive during movies? I'm thinking that each seat in the theater should have an ejection button that automatically propels patrons through the roof if their volume exceeds a very low decibel level. It would only take once.

For Hire

Honey-do Day

So here we are at Lowe's riding the 48 cart.

Swimming Lessons!

Here Spike

Have a bath toy.

Post by Gracie

Hint, Hint

Gracie knows how to blog. I guess you know you spend too much time blogging when you're 4-year-old can do it, too. Anyway, according to AB, she saw this card hanging on the wall at her doctor's office and wanted to put it on the blog as a way of letting me know she would like to go to Disney World. Soon. Sheesh.

Times 2

Apparently she felt the need to post it twice.

Backyardigans

Family Moving Tips

So we moved the other day. Moving is somewhat different from traveling. I have given instructions on traveling with three kids and a puppy before. Moving presents new and different challenges. Here's some tips I picked up from our recent southward move which I am glad to share with my loyal readers:

1. About six weeks before moving day, inform your spouse that it makes more economic sense for you to go ahead and get to the new town to get a head start at the new job and keep the $$$ coming in.

2. About four weeks prior to the move, pack your bags and head to the new town for the month. Assure your spouse that you will be back for long weekends. Leave all three kids with her. This will keep her from feeling lonely and give her something to do while she's packing up the entire house by herself.

3. For a cleaner Step 2, throw a couple boxes of breakables in the back of your car. This makes you appear helpful and gives the illusion that you are helping with the move.

4. Once in your new town, alone, be sure to hang out with with the guys every chance you get. Try to attend baseball games and other events where beer can be found.

5. Try to sound tired when your spouse calls to check on you. This gives the appearance of having worked very hard to support the family.

6. You will need to return home eventually. When you do, try to see to it that you spend quality time with kids and friends. This plays to the sympathies of your spouse, making it more difficult for her to make you help her pack as she thinks you're being a good family man.

7. Enhance Step 6 by having friends throw you a going away party on one of the weekends just before the big move. You can't spend all day packing if you have a big party to go to that night.

8. Tell the grandmother (also referred to as "Alternate Care Giver" or "ATG") that you would like for her to make the big move with you. Insist that she stays with you the entire first week. This accomplishes two objectives. One, it makes your spouse happy because spouses like having their moms around, and two, it accomplishes steps 9 through 16.

9. The day before the big move, take all the car seats out of the family van and carefully fill it with all the clothing of your entire family.

10. Carefully insert said car seats into the ATG's vehicle.

11. Be sure to have a third car that must be transported to your new locale. This way, there can only be one adult per vehicle.

12. Inform your ATG that she would not feel safe driving your van full of clothes as you can't see the road through the rearview mirrors.

13. After the moving van is fully loaded with all the stuff your spouse packed all by herself, quickly jump in your vehicle, cause spouse to jump in the other vehicle and send the kids to your new locale with the ATG.

14. Enjoy four hours of peace and quiet.

15. Be sure to move to your new locale on a Saturday. This forces your spouse and ATG to work hard all day Saturday to the point where they are fatigued on Sunday. Try to appear busy at all times on Sunday. It will be difficult, but you can do it.

16. Head to work extra early Monday. Work hard all week. 

Presto! House is fully moved into with little or no effort!  For more information on my quick and easy steps to moving, please contact me at MOVEIT.org.

UPDATE: I left out a crucial tip. If you have a paralegal, with no legal work due to your change in employment, do send her up to lend a hand to the spouse. This helps the spouse feel likes she's not completely alone. The paralegal may even befriend your spouse which also helps. Paralegals can be very valuable in this role.

Pics on Wall

I kicked some chore tail this weekend. Washed two cars and hung these
pictures. Watched the kids all day Saturday. Took the mothers to
dinner Saturday night. Gave kick-a Mothers Day gifts this morning. I'm
the man!

Flower Power

The inside of the house is about done so today Granny moved her
decorating activities outside. Gracie and Addie helped.

New Viola Pics

Here's a few new pics of my sis and her family. 

In other news, AB and her mom have just about whipped the house into shape. Hopefully, life will be returning to normal soon. Normal means more time to sit on my keister when I'm. I love normal. 

Picture Hanging Night

Plug your ears. Put the kids to be early. It's picture hanging night at our house.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

The girls are so stoked about their afternoon swimming lessons that
they had AB take them to the neighborhood pool this morning. This is
Day 2 at swimming lessons.

Sweet Girl

Gracie asked me to take this pic. She knows she's a star.

Playground

The new neighborhood has a kickin slide.

GQ

These new sunglasses really make me look cool. Thanks Garret Eye
Clinic.

Moving Day