Well it's a good thing the law gig is still going. Looks like the male modeling thing may not work out. Garrett Eye Clinic has chosen not to use my signature look as the face of its new eyewear campaign. While I'm disappointed by their decision, I remain proud of my work. The Collagen injections were probably a little too much, but I definitely learned from the experience.
NEW TIP: Never, and I do mean NEVER, sing "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life" to your wife, in response to the Pretty Lady Trap. The Pretty Lady Trap is often encountered at a restaurant or grocery store, always while in the company of your spouse. An attractive female will walk by. She's usually so attractive that you know better than to turn your head and look at her because your spouse too has noticed how attractive the female is. You know sure as rain on a cloudy day that if you look, your spouse will notice and you will pay later, so you focus your eyes on something else. Anything else. After the female has departed from earshot, your spouse may say something to you like, "She is sooo pretty isn't she?," or perhaps more obvious, "Don't you wish you were married to someone like her?" That's the Pretty Lady Trap. Don't step in it. You'll lose your leg, or some other important body part.
If this happens, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, sing, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life" to her. For your protection, I have embedded the song here for your review.
